I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I'm in my mid-20s and have been battling with a mental illness since I was in my mid-teens. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin for a few years. Around the time I turned 11 or 12 I made the conscious decision to not take it anymore. I generally feel I have since grown out of it for the most part however from the time I was about 15 years old I have been battling what I believe is bipolar disorder.

I am an alcoholic and an addict. I have been so since I was 16 years old. This is been a major problem in my life since I was a young teenager because I use this as a means of self-medication. When I was about 14 years old my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and she passed away when I was 19. This affected me heavily growing up and caused major depression and a lot of issues in my life. The only family I have and have ever had was my mother and father. Now it is just my father.

Now that I'm in my mid 20s I am coming to terms with the fact that I need to sober up and face things on my own. However anytime I sober up I am faced with this mental illness which I have been avoiding for over a decade. The highs and lows are nearly debilitating and make it very difficult for me to maintain any friendships relationships and work. I have been very fortunate to have maintained the best job I've ever had for going on 10 months now however I am worried if I do not seek treatment that this illness along with my disease of addiction will cause me to lose this amazing opportunity of which I have come across.

I am fairly certain I have bipolar disorder and some symptoms which crossover into borderline personality disorder, however I understand these two illnesses are very similar and are often confused with each other. I want to seek treatment and get a professional diagnosis but am unsure of how to go about this. I need to get treatment for this illness in order to help stop my addiction issues. I have been to rehab before and been too many AA and NA meetings however my mental issues always cause me to relapse.

Do I seek out a psychologist or a psychiatrist? I really do not want to have to take medicine as I was on anti-depressants for a year or two in my late teens. However I believe these were not an effective means of treatment and perhaps something else may help. Therapy is definitely something I've considered. But only after I get diagnosed and understand the issue at play here.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? I am open to all comments and am sure I am not the first person to be in such a situation. Thank you all and I really appreciate any help you have to offer.