So earlier in 2017, in early July I think, there was a new guy at work. I'm gay and had a little crush on him at first glance. He started to talk to me and invited me to hang out. He was 17 and I was 19. He was very immature, but I really liked him, despite his repulsive personality. I don't know why but I didn't care about it, there were other aspects I really liked about him, he's actually pretty similar to me. Then he mentioned casually that he was Bisexual. Holy shit my mind went crazy. This was the first time I met a guy who I liked that I could actually date!! So I told him I was gay a few days later... and he was shocked lol

Then on my 20th birthday we hung out (He just had his 18th birthday recently btw), just the two of us... and the next day he asked if that was like a date. And then, what felt like a miracle we started dating. It started out great, we went on a few nice dates...

But as time went on he became more and more neglectful... He just didn't want to go on dates ever, he said he was always too busy. He never did much in the relationship, I was the one always wanting to hang out with him. Every 3 weeks of neglecting me he'd be a really nice boyfriend, and then go back to ignoring me... He actually sort of made fun of me a lot and was barely ever romantic. When I told him I felt like he never tried in the relationship he accused me of a bunch of awful things and questioned why I even loved him... But that was online, before when I told him he hugged me and said he was sorry... Well I'll skip to then end, on December 1st... I told him I missed him and loved him because he had been busy for a week... and he dumped me... over text...

He said it wasn't my fault... he said he wasn't ready for a relationship and that... he didn't feel the same for me as I did for him I cried all night until I drank and passed out Then I was depressed for a week We are still friends... we plat games online together a lot... I see him at work all the time... every time I see him I feel a physical pain in my chest though and I hate it... it only happens at first then it stops

The problem I have is... I cannot get him out of my mind... I'm in love with him... but I shouldn't be I think about him everyday all the time, and I'm not exaggerating I have been thinking about him everyday for the last 6 months. I still jump at the chance to be with him, I still think there's a chance for us to be together again I had a long shift with him today, and it was so painful...he kept talking to me and being nice and it hurt so much... Whenever he calls me dude or man, or any other friendly term, it depresses me... He's hanging out with his friends right now and I'm really jealous of them I always want to hang out with him and only him and it's affecting my daily life...

He said he's moving to different state nearby with his ex, who is a girl. Maybe he loves her instead of me... When he told me the news I cried. He won't do it until next year around August.. I'm really jealous... I want to be the one to move in with him, not her... I don't know if there is anything that can help me or not...