There are times where I have thoughts like, "I hope I don't wake up," "I'm going to be dead soon." I'm never really genuinely happy, either-- I just feel like I'm in this perpetual funk where my mood is very, very, very flat. I remember when I was in community college, I had periods where I was genuinely happy/in really good moods.

There's none of that, now.

It seems like part of me doesn't want to be alive anymore, tbh. The reason I say that is because I have these weird thoughts about this pathogen, that make me think I want it to kill me.

So, in other words, I have daily thoughts that are all about death/dying, more or less.

I don't think I'm in danger of ending my life or anything, but these thoughts are not pleasant at all. Plus, I just feel kind of miserable, and I don't know what the solution to all this is.

Any advice would be appreciated.