Hello, I suppose first I'll introduce myself. I'm a 20m of native American decent. I do know that on my father's side (never met him or anyone on that side other than my brothers and sister on that side) my grandfather had some type of mental health issue, but no one was sure what. My father, I'm told, had depression and is now very paranoid in his age. He also has issues with commitment and seems to exhibit signs of warping reality (denying his kids other than me, fabrication of stories about people, etc). I'm not sure if that has anything to do with mental illness or if he's just a shitty person, but I'm trying to give as much information as possible to try to get some kind of answers. I have been diagnosed for about 2 years or so now with general social anxiety and depression. I tried antidepressants and this led to hyper aggressiveness, mood swings, and constantly feeling tired, which ended in a suicide attempt after coming off of them. I went to therapy for it and am pretty stable now, minus up and down days that happen here and there. What is odd that I can't seem to understand is that I go through periods of time where I feel almost normal with nothing wrong, to times when I am completely run down and tired all the time, I get angry and irritated very easily or at nothing at all and don't want to be touched by anyone (affectionately or otherwise), I am very uncaring and crass towards everyone no matter how close to me they are, I just want to be left alone by everyone, and I have zero sex drive or want for any kind of affection. I don't know what it is. It doesn't seem seasonal, it just seems random. It really worries me because I can be very mean to my girlfriend and close friends and have no explanation why and it frustrates me. I feel horrible acting this way and just want to see if this is normal for people with depression and anxiety or is this something else? Do I have some kind of illness I'm not aware of? Any help would be greatly appreciate, thank you in advance.