Has anyone else just have had it with our emotional ups and downs? i started being aware of my emotions around 2014, the time when I graduated high school. My gf cheated on me, university and contant mishaps all lead to depression. This made me really antisocial and I often mistrusted other people. I'm sure when you would feel them same when your gf and professors, people you've invested in, let you down.

It took a year and self medication (I used food. Up until now I still use it sometimes but I can hold on longer than usual) to get me back on having trust in myself again. I also started becoming a bit of a sociopath. I often practiced power plays on my peers and this actually helped me gain even more friends. Fast track to about 6 months ago when I've decided to let go of my "sociopath ways" and accept things as they are. It happened slowly and now I've realized that if I keep going like this.. I might end up in the same dark tiring hole of depression. Recently my grades have dipped. I'm more susceptible to strong emotions. I actually care what other people think too much. I've been doubting my decisions. Also the mishaps have started happening more and more. No lie once I opened a ramen pack and it didn't even have the powder.

So now I'm considering getting back to my "sociopath ways". But this has left me thinking that, if I follow this path then it has to be forever. because I'm tired of the ups and downs.

Is this temporary? I need advice.