One of my friends was acting like a jerk on the phone, pushing me when I was already in a very tense state. I went in to fight or flight mode, and then I reflexively emailed a girl I know whom I want to just stay friends with..but I ended up putting a smiley in the email. I shouldn't have done that. I don't want to flirt. I know that's no excuse but it happens sometimes. I'll have a toxic encounter with someone and then I'll run to somebody else who I'll hope will treat me kindly, someone I feel I can have a non-toxic encounter with. But that smiley might be giving the wrong impression. I care about her, but I want to be friends, and I don't want to bother her... I'm probably overthinking all of this. Oh well, I can only hope I didn't freak her out. I need good friends who don't talk over me, dominate me, talk loudly at me, and try to push their advice on me, and ignore me. I don't really have any of those right now. She comes pretty close.