Hi guys,

I come here feeling absolutely helpless and heartbroken. My wife has been experiencing what I am starting to think is clinical anxiety and depression and I truly do not know what to do.

Here's some background info:

My wife and I have a very healthy marriage. We are each other's best friend, have an excellent system of trust and communication, and are happy with our marriage. We have a good home, are both employed, and the future looks good. Family relationships are great, we both exercise avidly and are in excellent physical health. Looking at our life, you'd never think anxiety or depression is possible. But I understand that's not how this works.

My wife started experiencing pretty severe anxiety about one year ago. She would near on the verge of panic attacks almost daily. I spent many nights consoling her for 6-8 hours until she fell asleep. The anxiety was about anything and everything - matters presumably insignificant (like a restaurant she wanted to go to being closed, resulting in a 'ruined day' and endless crying spell), and matters very significant (worrying about finances, feeling undervalued at her job, etc).

About six weeks ago, things got really bad. The anxiety has seemed to transition into full-blown depression. My wife used to be an energetic morning lark who was often times a bit overwhelming in how loving and affectionate and excited she would get.

Lately, she tells me she hates going to the gym (we are both in the fitness industry and have been doing this for years) as she is tired, anxious and just doesn't feel motivated. She sleeps in until last minute and dreads waking up. Hates going in to work (a job she used to love).

The last few weeks, the episodes have been daily: we might not be able to get the breed of dog she wants, I accidentally ate the last of the special bread we bought, her favorite coffee shop got her order wrong...point is, anything and everything sets her off into a downward spiral of fetal-positioned crying spells that last upwards of 8 hours. Every single day now, I pick her up from work, have to cancel our workout and take her home and console her until she falls asleep at night. The crying and listlessness is incessant.

As a husband, I love this woman more than anything. It brings me to tears even writing this. I need to add the disclaimer that I have:

• never shamed or faulted her for this
• never invalidated or questioned her reasons for being unhappy (including interrogation, and other harmful, abusive tactics)
• consistently remind her that I do not resent her, feel differently, am never leaving her
• I admit I keep the stress to myself. I don't want her to feel guilty. But I have been losing sleep, been performing poorly at work and at school (MBA student), and have watched my fitness goals go down the drain (competitive bodybuilder, so its kind of an important avocation to me). I will never lose patience with her or take it out on her...just not the kind of man I am. But I am personally exhausted more than I have ever been.

I'm at a loss. I am afraid. We are young (mid-twenties) and don't have tons of money sitting around and can't afford therapist-shopping. I am willing to pick up an extra job if needed so she can get help, but even then I don't know where to start.

I'm thinking she might be experiencing onset adult depression or anxiety. But I'm no expert. I do know that she doesn't have a tangible 'reason' to be this upset (and she says this, too), meaning it is presumably biochemical.

I made a vow when I married this woman. I'm not giving up and will never ever leave her for this. It's neither her fault nor is abandonment an option. Ever.

That said, I am exhausted, guys. So many sleepless nights, so much negativity. It's wearing me down. I'm losing weight, look like shit, and have zero energy. 90% of it goes toward damage control and trying to help her. I need to remain strong for her but often wonder if my consolation is sufficient at all, that maybe she needs to see a doctor. I am somewhat distrusting/wary of pharms/drugs but recognize that some people have chemical imbalances, period. Besides, I don't give a shit about my opinions when my wife has lost the quality of life she deserves.

One last bit of vital info - she is very healthy/fit, on no meds...except Implanon. I have considered that perhaps the Implanon might be the culprit. I just don't know. What do you even do in a situation like this (especially when money is tight)? Where do you begin?

If anyone read all of this, thank you. Truly. Again, I feel helpless watching the light of my life go through this.

tl;dr 26 y/o wife is experiencing sudden severe depression and anxiety. Daily episodes that endure in excess of 8 hours. Finances are tight. What can I do beyond the usual emotional support and validation? How do I get her help?