I don't know if I'm lying to myself. I don't want to lie to myself but part of me is too proud and full of himself to admit his mistakes. Well, I won't lie about what I've done in my life. That I can guarantee you even if it really serves no purpose. I have to be true to myself. One of my fundamental beliefs is not to lie to oneself. I'm trying my best to stick to that. I had a look a sam vaknin's website on codependency. I really have no clue who I am anymore. There's no point in thinking or self-reflection. I'm just coasting now as I have no idea what's next. I had 7 beers tonight.