I know I need an official diagnosis and a credible therapist, but please, just hear me out and tell me what you think?

I've always been a paranoid person, but lately, I question if my friends are really my friends. I question if people really like me, or if they're lying behind my back.

But I also sometimes feel like...nothing's real? In a way? I feel like I might be in a simulation, and though this sounds narcissistic, I've always felt like I'm the only real person. That everyone around me is...fake? And I'm the only real one. I just can't shake that feeling.

I'm always hyper. I'm always alert. I always feel like people are watching me - it gets so bad that I put tape over my webcams, my phone camera, and I hate pictures.

Lately, however, I've felt that I just can't concentrate in school. I can't read without losing interest no matter how many times I try, and I keep forgetting things. The other day, I walked into my room three times just to grab things for my morning shower. I kept forgetting things. I've been locking myself out of my room recently, and forgetting what I'm doing or where I'm going or where I've put something.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Not to mention I always see shit out of the corners of my eyes and it's starting to bug me.

Am I just anxious? Or am I going crazy? What's going on here?