I went to my first psychiatric appointment today, worried that I would be wasting my time and money. My closest family suggested that I should see a doctor after some anxious episodes I had during the holidays. I admit that sometimes I might get very intense, so I agreed to see the psychiatrist they suggested.

I went in and I struggled to figure out what to say so I ended up just saying whatever I thought was appropriate. In the end, the doctor told I would probably benefit from getting therapy from a psychologist, as it sounded that part of my issues could be fixed by figuring out how to change my behavior or thinking patterns. On top of that, I was prescribed with antidepressant, anxiolytic and antipsychotic meds.

I feel overwhelmed. I didn't think I needed this much medication? The anxiolytic seems understandable as I really do struggle with anxiety sometimes, but the others seem too much. I don't know what to think about this.

I really did worry that I might come back with a pat on the back and a "you're ok, you don't need to take anything" and a lifetime to think about how maybe I just need to change my personality and how I see the world for things to get better. Turns out apparently I can get help through meds and therapy, yet I'm still worrying like crazy that it might not be needed and maybe it's too much.

God, even writing this is making me feel stupid. What's wrong with me?