Specifically me dying, I guess. I don't think I'm depressed, really. I just seem to think about death a lot. Not in a fearful sort of way nor in a philosophical way, and it doesn't really cause anxiety or anything. In fact, I don't really feel much of anything when I think about it.

I just seem to think stuff like "what if I died right now?"

Or "how many times could I have died in alternative universes in this specific instance?"

Sometimes stuff like "if I died right now, what would it look/feel like?"

Or "what would happen if I died? What would happen to those around me/those who cared about me? How would they find out? What would they do after finding out?"

Sometimes I do sort of think about killing myself but not really in a serious way. I would never act on it, or anything, it's just a vague "what if". Is this normal at all? Do many other people do this? I've been thinking this way for probably years now, and it never really bothered me much, but for the past few weeks I've been mostly isolated and left to my thoughts because of work.