This will be really long. I apologize. I'm going to break it up into topics to make it easier to read. I will start out by explaining my current strained relationship with my brother as well as his relationships with my family. Afterwards, I will explain all the points that seem to hint at his mental instability, and finally, what is currently going on, as we are at a loss of what to do and I am growing more and more unsettled to a degree of almost fearing for safety.

Here we go.

not good with the girls or... people, in general

My brother, 33, has always been a little bit... off. His romantic relationships have failed in the past-- he once was engaged but his fiancee got cold feet at the last moment very suddenly. The woman he loved after her actually got a restraining order against him as he showed stalker/obsessive behavior towards her after she broke up with him. His most recent girlfriend we thought was a great match and could settle him down but she, too, seemed to have been worn down and left him. So his relationships have never really been good (probably his fault, though it's unclear) but he considers romance and having a life partner his only goal in life to achieve happiness. He seemed to have few friends and his humor is really immature to a degree that it's downright inappropriate for his age. He made terrible jokes at our grandmother's funeral (which was the first major death in the family for all of us!) and basically wrecked the organization of one side of the family. He was... making jokes.

the crutch

Here's where I come in. He would come to only me and not our other siblings or my parents for advice and for support. He and I both kind of have been black sheep in our family due to our different beliefs and to the unfortunate attention we got from the rest of our family for our lifestyles (which is more a conversation related to /r/raisedbynarcissists but slightly off topic, so I won't quite go there). But his connection to me was obsessive to a degree in the past that bothered me... and then something happened when I was 14 that scarred me and forever changed my view of him.

One day when I was 14, he approached me when I was alone and made an extremely sexual request of me. Though I did not let it happen, he persisted in asking until finally he left me alone. He is eight years older than me, so he was a young adult when he asked. It scared the living hell out of me, but I was too afraid to tell my parents because I didn't think they would believe me (my relationship with them has never been the best). But friends knew I was acting off at school and they pieced it together until one of them ended up reporting it to a counselor, who then got the police involved.

My brother ended up running away but eventually was found. My parents talked to him. He didn't really get in trouble. They just basically chalked it down to him being a stupid boy.

forgive your brother

So that's one of the main base points of why I never really felt comfortable around him, but because my parents encourage forgiveness and don't like there being any bad blood between any family members (ha...) they encouraged me to support him since I seemed to be the only person who would understand him. He dealt with deep depression with his failed relationships and he and I had a lot of interests in common. He even told me me he tries to date girls like me, as if that is some weird way of saying he somehow respects me. Idk.

other means of abuse

He's also really aggressive. When he was a teenager, he would often slam doors and yell in rebellion, but he also eventually began to break things. He kicked a large hole in the wall once. To my disgust and utter shock, I also found out only a few months ago he used to beat up one of my brothers secretly. He would verbally torment all of us, would go through people's things, take belongings... it was like him being an eldest sibling meant he felt entitled to anything whatsoever in our house. He read through my journals and made bizarre assumptions about them... he once called me a slut (I was a virgin and had only had 1 serious relationship at that time) and then a liar when I explained he was wrong and how offended I was that he went through my things. No remorse for this. He would actively seek out things that were hidden from him.

It's like something never clicked in his head that you're supposed to treat people a certain way. He treats them... the opposite, sometimes, of what you would hope.

Now I believe most definitely he has a mental illness (or multiple), which is what finally brings me to my current issue:

slamming the doors

I believe he is both strongly paranoid and also had a sleep disorder. The problem is that he refuses to seek help and has started to believe people are out to get him. Including me. The one he has hurt the most, but my family believes I'm the one he loves the most simultaneously.

When he lived with his last girlfriend, he made her sleep in another room because he believed he couldn't sleep at night with any interruption. He started to believe his neighbors were purposefully waking him up at night, banging around garbage cans in the middle of the night. Or that the old lady upstairs was banging on metal pipes on purpose. Eventually, he stopped living in his own house to move back in with my parents. Where he currently is. With me.

He said he would see shadows outside of my windows. And eventually his own windows. He took the cameras he'd had installed at his house, which has fallen into a severe state of disrepair that he cannot afford to fix thus meaning he can't leave my parents' house, and I believe he intends to set up his cameras here. He blamed all of our neighbors, none of which talk to any of us because it's a more private neighborhood.

Here's when shit started REALLY getting insane. He started telling me that my "friends" were doing it to him. I explained, again, I don't know our neighbors and I don't have any friends who even live in the same county as me. He didn't believe me. Then he started to believe that my parents were doing it to him. Don't get me wrong, as I mentioned above, my parents are really not the best, but they do try to at least support their children when they can. I'm living at home so I can finish off my student loan payments before moving in with my fiance (plus they heavily disbelieve I can move in before marriage-- separate story, sorry. Bear with me). So we are both stuck at home to be in a better financial situation.

Despite the fact my parents have let him come home multiple times in times of trouble, he has started to believe they are sneaking around at odd hours of the night, specifically when he is trying to sleep... and he believes they are trying to wake him up. He says he hears doors slamming. He says he can feel the floor shake whenever my mother walks (she's obese, but it's literally on the other side of our ranch house... on carpet. It's obviously impossible). He says he sees people walking around in the kitchen at night... It goes on.

One day recently he came into my room, seemingly in a daze, at like 2 in the morning. No knocking, nothing. I asked him what was wrong and he mumbled, "I thought I heard something." He walked a few steps towards the room I let my cat sleep in at night, and then turned around and walked out. It was bizarre.

a pair of insomniacs

He explains he cannot sleep ever anymore. This is yet another thing he connects with me on because I have two diagnosed-by-a-sleep-specialist sleeping disorders, severe insomnia being one of them. I've suggested he see my sleep doctor but he claims it's a waste of time. His version of self-help is drinking sometimes but it doesn't help him, of course. On Christmas morning he told me he had solved his sleep problem. I asked him what he was going to do...

He said he was going to remotely set off his car alarm to wake all the neighbors and our family at 3 in the morning so we all know what it feels like, and that somehow will stop the people from waking him up on purpose. It was... the most mentally insane thing I have ever heard him say. I was shocked... He had no remorse at all. I told him he could get arrested and he said didn't think he would and that he didn't care. It's like... the social cue needed there to understand how wrong it was just didn't exist in his head.

where I try to love him or call the police

Then he started to wake us up. He slams doors in the middle of the night. And last night, he actually screamed WAKE UP!! outside of my door at 6:15am. I couldn't fall back asleep and was a mess at work.

My dad heard it. He came out to investigate but decided to not approach him. I tried to approach my brother the next morning but he looked at me and was silent, and walked away. That was him saying, "that was for you." And I don't fucking know why.

We have told him to seek doctors. My parents, despite their weakness and enabling of this, despite me saying I have felt unsafe around him for 10 years, despite agreeing with me that he's mentally insane... they feel like they can't do anything. And I feel like I can't get police involved because there is no "proof" right now that he will harm himself or anyone. There's just the fear in my head. Who would even listen to me? My parents want him to own up and apologize to me because they know he believes he is connected to me, but I don't fucking want this connection anymore. I don't want his words. I want action.

Last week he apologized to me for waking me up and said he would get help. But he screamed at me last night and proved he was a liar. I don't know what to do. I want to leave but cannot financially afford it and would have to cut ties with my family. He need fucking medical help but refuses it and believes we're all out to get him. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO.