I've been on zoloft since christmas and while on my original 25 and 50 mg doses I felt more anxious but still overall the same, moving to a 100mg dosage has made me extremely depressed and overall I feel like I can't enjoy anything.

Today a friend blocked me on discord because I was talking to him and being emotional, he said it was because he needed time to chill but it still hurt that he couldn't tell me. I've had at least 5 friends who have either asked me for time off or just cut contact for a small amount of time before so I just kind of fell apart after this all happened.

I've been on my university's waiting list for therapy since almost september since my therapist moved away in the summer, and now I have to wait til next wednesday before I can discuss with my doctor about coming off this medication.

I've never felt so alone around other people and even though I've joined new discords to overcome my social anxiety it feels pointless and nothing makes me feel happy or accomplished, I can't enjoy art and I can't focus on school either, I was doing fine when I got my diagnosis for OCD and before the medication but it feels like zoloft has ruined the great first semester I had this year.

I really don't know what to do and it scared me how little I cared about wanting to die today, the hope and optimism I had during december is completely gone and now I just feel empty with my intrusive thoughts STILL in the back of my mind.