I’ve taken dozens of different drugs and recently had to start seeing a therapist or psychiatrist or both or something after my second benzo/opiate OD.

I’d really like to avoid group therapy because there are things im not comfortable talking about. Im not comfortable talking too much in general I suppose.

Anyhow, point is. After experimenting with dozens of different chemicals, I found love not in opiates (though I did originally), but in adderall.

Is it wrong of me to try to get a prescription for ADHD? I think I’d be happier if I could focus on my studies and stop fucking around. (Yes, I know its no magic pill, but I’m capable of using it for productive purposes. Its even more rare, but is there a way to get a desoxyn prescription?

I know this post is coming off like Im some drug seeking douchebag, and I guess that’s what I’m becoming. But my purpose for this post ISNT to ask you how to doctor ship for certain pharms (but I wouldnt mind any advice), but to ask whether or not Its really worth it to start seeing a psychiatrist. I want to get my life in order and I want to do it as soon as possible. ~I’m going to use a stimulant of some sort~, so is it worth me not paying $8/pop for a 30mg addie when I want to study, or is it really worth all this extra bureaucratic bullshit instead of just going to some dude whos not going to bother me.

I feel like as far as my mental health goes I’d be so much happier if I felt like I could get my life together, make plans, have goals, be motivated, adderall gave me that, so I feel like I know better than the doctors as far as prescribing me things, I know how i react to things. To mental health docs im a guinea pig to an extent.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, but I got meds for schizophrenia (with more side effects than someone who vehemently hates haskell). I was prescribed SNRIs, but they just make me sleepy and they make me feel off. - I just checked. Olanzapine and Effexor.

Ok, so sorry for the life story/rambling, but basically my question is.

Is it really worth it to try to go through with all of this insurance medical bull when I can just get what I need off any corner? Except Desoxyn, I’m quite curious about that.