I don’t know where to start. I have bad anxiety. I can hardly leave my house sometimes. I do have a job, but while I’m there I keep my mouth shut all day. I don’t socialize at all.

I have mood swings. For example, today I woke up feeling pretty good. Someone actually gilded one of my comments on my main account. This mood carried through until a few hours ago. I finished my taxes and ended up owing money instead of getting back over $1000. That threw me into a whirlwind of emotions. I started out incredibly angry. I wanted to yell at someone. Before I could even accept my anger, I got really sad. I had to step outside for a moment to get away from everything. Now I feel hopeless. That money was going to go towards paying down my debt. Now it just got added on top of it.

I feel suicidal, but not that I want to kill myself. I’d rather something happen to me so that my family and few friends don’t have to go on knowing that I took the easy way out. I would never kill myself, but I sure don’t want to live anymore.

Who can I talk to about this? What do I even say to them? Back to the title, what’s wrong with me?