So I'm not in a great space. Long story short, I've got two people going at one another in my head. One very negative (the mean prick) then me. But another one, a third, showed up today. A kid.

Below is what I've written about them from what I remember. I'm writing everything down now. See below. I'm trying to get to my psych asap. But what is this? A bored mind? A fragmented personality? It amuses me. It's me talking. Just from completely different realities to where I physically am.

Below is what I've written so far. I'm concerned because I'm not fighting it anymore.

3 distinct people to date.

Kid. Maybe 10. Intrigued by the world and full of wonder. Wants to collect all the different tree nuts from around the world and make a tree nut library. Needs to make sure the design of the library allows for future extensions of the exhibit space, maybe allowing for seeds. Got into a big argument with another kid(not sure it is a kid though. See below) about whether a potato or tomato is a nut. Seeing as there's seeds inside the tomato. Potato is a bit of an enigma. Also, carrots. What are they? Discusses this idea with another kid? Not sure it is a kid though. I think it's the mean prick pretending to be a kid, pretending to be his friend. He was supportive, but watching the interactions between the two, I'm not sure I trust him. He seems a little too supportive.

Mean prick. Absolute fucking c**t. Says nothing nice. Wants me to kill myself. Likes to see me hurt. Makes me question everyone and everything. I'm in a dream. This isn't real. End it to find out. Win win. Sleep forever or wakeup. He likes those odds.

Me. Question the mean prick a lot. Doesn't answer properly though. I am actually looking at things realistically. Questioning this entire situation but also aware that I am aware of it. That I'm taking steps to get help. Better health insurance, seeing my psych. That I want this to stop. I can't do this for another ten, twenty years. I can't and I won't.

So that is where I'm at. Ha, what a ride.