I'm 21, female, and I've been diagnosed with anxiety, OCD, depression, and psychosis. My psychiatrist won't give me an exact diagnosis revolving the psychosis part. He has one, just won't tell me as he thinks it will make things worse but my mom and other family members suffer from schizophrenia so it's not too hard to guess..
Recovered from bulimia and anorexia, as well as from self harming.

I'm currently on Zoloft and Risperidone for my mental health.

The thing is.. I love the life I have for the most part. I have the most incredible husband, and an amazing 7 year old son (I had him when I was 14). I consider myself to be so darn lucky because I have them!

But it's everything else that just seems like too much to handle sometimes... sometimes I just wish the pain would go away and that I won't suffer all the time anymore.

I am the luckiest person in the world when it comes to my little family but with everything else I got the shit end of the stick. Every body has some bad things in their life but I feel like I was given way more than any person should.

Besides spending time with my husband and son (I don't have any other friends), I don't really enjoy anything anymore. It can take me weeks just to finish one episode of a tv show or a movie by myself because I watch 5 minutes and lose interest even if it's one of my favourites. Same with video games. Art. Reading. Music. Etc.

I have developed unhealthy cravings (obsessions) for things. Food, objects, experiences, animals, friends and even human babies. Sounds weird but I'll give an example.

Ive been wanting pet birds for years. We already have a lot of animals and are low income so my husband said I could get some on my 30th birthday since we'll be more equipped to handle them. I became so obsessed with wanting birds that I started to burst into tears randomly every day because I didn't have any and would spend every free moment watching bird videos. My husband didn't want to see me sad anymore so he got me birds. They are beautiful and amazing and I love them. I was so obsessed with having birds because I thought they were the one thing I was missing to feel happier again... that they would somehow make everything better...

But now a couple months later and my obsession is a new lens for my camera. I went as far as to sell most of the things I own to try and get the money for the camera lens. Even things I still wanted and liked...

My husband jokes that I ALWAYS want something... but it's true. I always do because I worry that the one thing I don't Have, is the one thing I need to make me happy and enjoy things again.

Disclaimer: I love my birds. They are very well taken care of, wanted and loved. They just didn't make everything magically better like I had imagined but I am thankful they are in my life.