So I guess I should start off by saying I've always been very closed off and avoidant of most emotion. It has worked out alright for me so far because I have a loving family and somehow I managed to make some friends in school, although my relationships were not that deep and I believe they haven't lasted long because of that. Im at a point in life right now where I feel the urge to change myself and become more open to life and people. I find myself wondering where to start, though, and i feel pretty numb to life. When I think of what I can really do to mix things up and change my life, I come to the conclusion of saying random gibberish or stream of consciousness words, yelling, screaming, crying, or moving my body in ways that feel new. I wonder why most people seem to have a smoother development in life where their relationship with theirselves is such that they don't need to cry or scream just to feel something. Any response is appreciated, thanks.