I have intrusive thought OCD. I think all sorts of mean things about people, even my friends and family. I don't believe most of these thoughts, and I hate them so much because it can make interacting with others difficult and painful. I am taking medication and I was doing alright but a paranoid fear that I struggled with in the past has resurfaced recently, making my life much worse. I have the illogical fear that everyone can read my mind. I know, it's crazy, and no matter how much I reason with myself, the fear always comes back, and at the worse times. I'm terrified that my friends, girlfriend, and family can see all of the disgusting thoughts that I have about everyone. My thoughts always seem to focus on the flaws of the person in question, and most of them are untrue. If it's a girl, it can be sexual, and this bothers me the most because I feel so dirty and impure when I think these. Or it can be insults concerning their appearance, intelligence, or abilities. In the last year, the thoughts have not been as frequent or intense, until a few weeks ago, when the fear that everyone could read my intrusive thoughts began to grow. I have become increasingly paranoid, and I cannot seem to use logic to convince myself that this fear is untrue. Strange occurrences with people have helped this fear grow into what it is right now. For example, sometimes when I look at my female teachers in class, they will adjust their clothes to cover themselves, making me think that they see my intrusive sexual thoughts. This especially bothers me, because I know that I am not looking at them in a weird way. Then, I their was this really hot girl that used to flirt with me, and one day I called her fat in my mind, which she is not, she's tiny, and ever since she hasn't approached me at all, only saying hi every now and then. Also, yesterday I called my girlfriend a b**** and other mean things in my mind, and I looked over and her face was really red, her head was down, and her eyes looked watery. Then two seconds later she seemed fine and was laughing and smiling with her friends. Finally, when we sing songs in choir, my mind lets loose with all sorts of bad stuff that I don't believe, especially at the choir director. When he is playing the piano and we are singing, these insults dance around in my head, and it seems like every time I have a bad thought, the director fumbles with the keys and makes a mistake. It could just be that the director is bad, but I just can't bring my mind to believe that. I'm so scared that everyone can see the random bad thoughts that pop up in my mind, and as a result, people see me as a jerk and all of the people who I insult in my mind hate me. Also, I know for sure that I'm not mouthing these thoughts or saying them out loud. I can live with the intrusive thoughts, but the belief that everyone can read my mind makes it 100 times worse for me, because now I try very hard to censor and suppress my bad thoughts, and I know that that is bad because it gives the thoughts more importance and makes it harder for them to go away