People always say that it gets better. That living, life, is worth it in the end. It's how I pushed through years of suicide ideation, that small hope that it will get better. Well, I'm still waiting.

I've had mental illnesses since childhood but been relatively functioning. Soon I'll be 27 and nothing has gotten "better". It's the same **** day in and day out. Loads of therapy and meds and life changes and my desire to die is greater than my want to live. I've lost hope of anything getting better (sure my behaviours are more appropriate but the thoughts and feelings are still there) and I feel so foolish for listening to everyone say that life is worth it. For other people, yeah, their lives improve and things get easier and they have reason and purpose to live and it's fantastic that happens because it shows that things CAN get better... but me? I've wasted 12 years of living for what feels like nothing.

Can anyone relate? What do you do when nothing feels worth it anymore and you've exhausted all of your reserves? Is there anything that can be done? I'm sorry for the rambling.

Hugs for you all.