I am a 17 year old from spain who is struggling with Depression. Personally, I have been feeling depressed since 2015 but this year is getting worse due to fear of failing final exams meaning I cant go to British Unis.

Anyways, I know depression makes you more closed off from the world, and I myself am cynical and sarcastic. I also often tell myself that I have a loose set of moral values, but it could just be self deprecating humour and edgyness. The point is I am worried I am losing my humanity. I dont feel much anymore except really numbness or some fear. Either I am indifferent or my mind comes up with extremely bitter and often evil or just selfish thoughts. These include wanting to murder people for just me finding them annoying, mentally undressing women and having sexual fantasies.

Should I be worried by the pervasiveness of thoughts ? I have never taking any medications, nor taken part in any therapy. Mostly I keep my illness to myself, and many would never guess what I think or feel, as they see a wise, smartass yet funny person ?

If you guys could give your opinions, it would help.