My family has a medical record of mental illness and — about two years ago — my family sent me to a psychologist to treat my "self-destructive phase".

I feel like I'm starting to go back to it, and that — even though I've just reached my 19 years of age — I'm failing at life.

I like writing, but I feel like I should be better at it for my age.

I like drawing, but I feel like I've wasted my opportunity to improve it, and that it's too late for me to take art classes.

I like cooking, but I get angry whenever I mess up, and I feel like crap for the rest of the day afterwards.

I like reading, but seeing how other people have worse problems than mine in those stories makes me feel like I'm weak — that I should be better at what I do and complain less whenever I fail myself.

I try to give it my best studying for college, but I panic whenever I realize I'll have more B's than A's at the end of the semester. I have a firm belief that — if I'm sh*t at everything else — I shouldn't be failing at the one thing that will help me get a career.

I feel like I'm falling behind at my age, and that I'll never get to make a future for myself. I fear I'll be a pest to my family if I don't stop this now.

Any advice as to how to lessen these thoughts? I feel like I'm going back to my period of self-destruction, and I really don't want to go back to it.