tw: suicidal ideation/action

So I lost my husband on Dec 18. He had a very sudden illness, of about three weeks, and passed. I'm disconnected from my family and his family won't have anything to do with him, in illness or in death. (We're gay men.)

I have been trying to access therapy/support since he suddenly went into a coma (exactly one month ago today). He is my primary support and very much acted as my protector. Losing him deeply destabilized me.

My friends moved me out of our shared home because... it was a very bad idea for me to be there alone. But moving moved me across state lines and with his death, I lost the insurance we had through him. I'm also dealing with very very real suicidal ideation/I took the action to order the tools to go through with it.

I called all the non-profits in the area and no one can take me for 3 months. I applied for state health insurance, but will be waiting several weeks. My license is from my old state so I can't access local services and my papers are in boxes, alongside my husband's paperwork, and I can't go through his stuff to do laundry, much less paperwork.

I was actually told by an intake worker at the local community mental health center that I shouldn't expect to get help until I can get myself in order. I spent last night on the phone with suicide hot lines, who, when they learned of the situation, actually told me my best bet of NOT killing myself is travelling by bus across state lines and finding an emergency clinic in my old state. Since I couldn't walk to the park right now, that's... just not happening.

I'm in Philadelphia PA USA. I do NOT want to involve the police driving me ANYWHERE. (I have multiple minority statuses and we've got a solid shot of even accidental suicide-by-cop.) But I've also been actively rejected by even emergency centers - the one near me, when I spoke even to the nursing supervisor on duty, told me they'd evaluate me, but they would not treat me.

Do I even have any options?