Every single time I try and talk about my feelings and whats going on inside my head, even if I just think about it or type it out, I become so so tense and stressed out that I shut down and I hate it. I'm scared that once I start therapy sometime in the future there will be no progress whatsoever because my brain forces itself to go quiet. So when I do, I have to be vague about it or keep it short and sweet so I don't shut down. Sometimes it gets so bad that it even makes so I don't even talk at all. I've tried fixing it myself, like... Taking it slow, not delving directly into the tough stuff immediately or to anything that really makes me feel like shit, but it doesn't matter. I wish I knew why I was like this.