My mother has been married and divorced four times in her life. My sister and I have different dads. All the men my mom married were severely dysfunctional in some way. As I've gotten older, I've realized how not so good our family situation was. My sister is a lot older than I am and I often saw how she acted out as a kid due to her father not being present for her. Luckily for me, my mom did not divorce my dad till I was 17. However, I still suffered with some issues such as anxiety and confusion about what it means to be a good husband and wife. She would often tell me as an 8 year old that she regretted getting married and that I should never get married. My mom often used my sister as an example of a "bad kid" and how I shouldn't act that way. I now have realized she acted the way she did because of the dysfunction of not having a stable family. My mother and sister do not get along, with my sister mainly acting very angry and cold towards my mother. She even excluded her from her wedding. I always thought this was wrong, but now I have started to feel this way towards her. I grew up thinking these men had done my mother wrong, but have learned she kept choosing to bring them into her life and she had done wrong to us. I feel it is her fault because she did not stop to think maybe she was the problem instead of the men. It all seems very reckless and even disgusting to me. It makes me boiling mad to think about it and I often bring up statistics on single motherhood just to make her feel guilty. She also goes back and forth on how she feels about being single, admitting she does get lonely and moans about how her married neighbors have husbands doing stuff around the house. But, then she'll try to make herself feel better and say how most families are screwed up and too many people stay in marriages they don't like. I find myself uncomfortable around families that are intact and have an active, available father. I'm really upset that I grew up thinking it was normal for a dad to be gone for days on end and for parents to sleep in separate rooms because they hate each other. I have adopted very conservative views on family and marriage and I always try to rub it in her face. I feel what I'm doing is bad, but I can't stop. I'm starting to behave worse than my sister. I don't know if it something my mother is doing that has caused us to be this way or if it's a coping mechanism for me. I'm not sure what to do about it.