Dated this girl with BPD for a while. Was a mess of a lovely relationship. Everything went to shit in the end and now my family doesn't want me seeing her.

Lately I've just been consumed by this idea that she might not be real. All the evidence points to her existing but I just feel like she doesn't. We've been hanging out again recently and having to sneak around to see her just makes the problem worse and I'm always wondering if people are just watching me talk and laugh with myself because she isn't really there.

Not sure why I'm posting this. I guess I'm just wondering if anybody has had a similar experience?