I got anhedonia from PT-141 2 months back

My doctor is recommending ECT for me. Said that the cognitive problems are overblown.

The thing is I am unable to manage myself at all and I am nonfunctional.

Therapy does not work on me. Im incredibly resistant and it doesnt really do anything for my symptoms. Im also extremely impatient where if I apply a therapy technique and it doesnt do anything immediately then I start to get really agitated and wonder how long itll take for therapy to kick in.

I look at the clock constantly and ruminate over all my symptoms because there isnt much I can do. With anhedonia I cannot enjoy things and I am emotionally numb. The blank mind makes it impossible to socialize. The symptoms are causing more depression.

I have never had anhedonia in my life and me having the anhedonia makes me less than what I used to be. And I have it in me that I wont live as a lesser version of myself. And changing that thought pattern does not help my symptoms therefore I wont change it.