I've had bad periods for a few years now where I have, I believe, suffered from depression (to the point of having suicide methods prepped and ready)

I've finally got to the point of going to a GP (in the UK) about it, and I'm terrified. My Dad tried to kill himself a while back, and I can't tell if it's the medication or age or losing his job but he doesn't seem as present as he was. I'm scared that medication would do that to me. Equally, I'm scared that the GP is going to tell me that I'm not sick, and that this is just normal for me, and that there's nothing they can do. My work is primarily mental, and I'm scared of losing my ability to do my job.

Sorry for the ramble, but if anyone has advice for how to talk to a doctor about this whole thing, it'd be greatly appreciated. I struggle with opening up to people about this stuff, especially in person, and I'm not sure how I can get it across to the doctor.

Thanks.