Hi, I just need to vent. All my life I've been a pariah. Teachers saw it, my peers knew there was something odd about me. I've always had weird thoughts and ways of thinking, but I've never been able to share this with anyone.

I feel so alone in this world and often the weight of it makes me wish I was never here. I wish I had the resolve to go through with it. My parents were always rather distant and left me to my own devices. They expected me to do my own thing and successfully navigate my way to adulthood. I could never tell them what was really going on. They expected good grades and didn't really talk to me much. Often I was just relieved they weren't yelling, hitting or threatening me.

I don't think I will ever be able to have a career, find a partner or even have a friend. If I've had my problems for so long and can't help myself, what hope is there for me? I've been diagnosed with depression and obviously have anxiety, but it's like no one really cares.

I've had a few friends but my internal weirdness seems to mean they all leave me in the end. I'm an adult but I feel stuck in fifteen years ago. I'm just too different, I put my faith in people but it's like they either don't care or are ignorant to my struggles with my mental health, with life. Am I doomed to be an alien forever?