Listen, hear me out. It's about to get ranty so tl;dr at the end.

I've never been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness. Then again, I've never really thought about it until about a year ago. But back to the main points, I always forget why I don't like coming back home. I get really sad/moody at the fact that I can't do anything. I get annoyed at my family really easily. Then again, my family hasn't always been a model for me anyways. Tons of drama, fighting, toxic relationships and toxic people. So now that I live in a college dorm, my mood increased significantly.

Now, I came back home today because I needed to pick up some documents for a new job. Last time I came back was for winter break and I dreaded every second of it. On my last days, I was told by my stepdad that he's tired of picking me up from school and dropping me off. Since then, I haven't spoken to him and I've found ways to commute to and from. Come back this week and my stepdad is in the middle of some kind of fight with my entire mom's side of the family. This is not the first time it has happened and it's for sure going to continue.

Currently, I'm in my room, on the verge of tears from both the drama going on and remembering what has happened in the past. For tomorrow, I intend to stay out of the house for most of the day until I start commuting back to my dorm but until then, I won't be relieved. I feel so bad for my mom bc she is suffering from all of this too but I need to look out for myself emotionally and mentally. I feel suffocated here, which is a drag considering the area I live in is really cool.

I don't know what I'm trying to say really, other than coming back home isn't great for my mental health. There's other things too but, that's for another time.

TL;DR: Home for me is full of toxic people and makes me sad.