After experiencing abuse as a child, and many other instances of my trust being broken, it’s way too easy for me to push people away. I try to be friendly and am generally regarded as such, however as a relationship begins to go deeper, it’s as if an internal alarm goes off, and my body wants to prevent that from happening.

My husband is one who didn’t give up on me despite the many times I pushed him away. I rarely do anymore, as he has earned my trust. I am thankful he didn’t give up on me. However, for the standard acquaintance, I understand them not wanting to push on their end. The thing is I want more quality relationships. I recently lost someone who was like a parent to me most of my life. People are reaching out, and I want to be ok talking about it and accepting their comfort. However my body still wants to push away.