It's that time of the year again. As happened with the last 4 apartments I lived in over the past 3 years I'm being kicked out again. This time it's due to financial problems. I'm working as a freelance graphic designer (working from home). A decision I made because severe social anxiety didn't allow me to continue working a 'normal' office job. Even though this was a very positive change, the fact that my mental health constantly swings from OK to apocalypse makes it a pain in the ass to maintain a stable income.

Right now I'm living in a tiny yet ridiculously expensive apartment just outside a big city, just like I always have. In my quest to finding a more affordable place to stay, I started looking into houses in the countryside. This is something I never even considered before. I grew up in a city and kinda just stuck around... But I found myself being mind blown by the cheap rent and massive amount of space that comes with living in the middle of nowhere. So I've gotten more and more into the idea of actually moving away from the city.

Here's the problem though;

Because of my poor mental health I have not yet succeeded in maintaining any friendships or acquaintances. This in combination with me working from home causes me to get very lonely. But even though I don't have friends or anyone to talk to myself, I get the feeling that living in a city and being permanently surrounded by other people comforts me in some way.

I don't know if that's actually true. But I'm scared that if it is true, I will end up feeling very isolated and anxious when I'm not surrounded by a bunch of people 24/7.

Has anyone had a similar experience, or some form of advice on this matter?

Eternally grateful in advance.