I live in Hawaii and the whole false alarm missle thing completely fucked up my anxiety and I had a panic attack for the first time in months, and I felt really anxious and sensitive for the rest of the day. Later that day I went to volunteer at a film festival and i felt another panic attack coming on, so I decided to take my panic attack meds hydroxyzine. But it didn't work after the first dosage, and this is where I completely fucked up and took another dosage almost immediately after the first one. I still didn't feel any better and wanted to take another dosage, but thank god I only brought 2 pills because I would have taken more. But I slowly started to feeling really weird and spacey like I was high or drunk or something. I was still anxious and still ended up having a panic attack once my shift was over, so the meds were basically pointless. But right before I broke down, I started feeling really suicidal and was thinking really horrible things like "no one gives a shit about you, you could literally kill yourself and no one would even care, because you don't even have any friends" and this is made me start tearing up, and want to end it even more. But at the time I was really pist because I didn't bring my makeup bag so I didn't have my eyebrow trimming blade that I would have taken with me to the bathroom and used for something other than trimming my eyebrows, and thank God because I just really wanted to die at that point. But when I finished crying in the bathroom I still felt really out of it and delirious, so I called my dad to come pick me up. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, so this girl I was talking to earlier I completely ignored when she came by to sit next to me, and when I did try to respond to her I'd stutter and just sounded confused af. When I went to wait for my dad to come get me I kept almost falling asleep, and when he finally came I knocked out in his car, and I ended up sleeping through the entire next day, and today when my mom tried to wake me up I still felt sick and out of it and dizzy, and I still feel like I'm in a dream or something and idk how long it takes to get over this, because I'm starting to get scared