This is the first time I’ve actually vocalised any of these thoughts so I may ramble on a bit. Over the past 6 months or so I’ve been feeling my mental state decline. This includes a lot of things from my outlook on life to my memory.

I can’t pinpoint an exact event or moment where this began but now I feel it’s at an alarming point. I no longer have any enthusiasm for anything and severely struggle to stick to any sort of routine, this is starting to affect my studies (third year university). I’m unsure how to word this, but I feel I’ve lost all sense of myself. This is due to the fact my mind is the least active it’s ever been, and in turn my memory is the worst it’s ever been to the point I feel I’ve forgotten who I am or what I stand for. My social ability has declined to almost nothing, even 6 months ago I was a bubbly, outgoing person who always had something to say. Most of the time these days I’m socially inept, i never really have anything to say to anyone, mainly because I’m so unsure of myself. But by far the worst change in my behaviour is that I never really follow anything that’s going on, wether that’s in a lecture or just in a group conversation. I zone out far too easily and have no idea what’s being discussed. I could use the metaphor of a plastic bag in the wind, it’s going along but has no idea what it’s doing or why it’s there, it’s just moving. Again this was never the case with me before, in school I was a straight A student and the class clown.

There’s absolutely no structure to any of this but I felt it’s about time I say something. Because I haven’t vocalised it I’ve never really considered that I may be suffering from something. Any comments or advice on my situation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.