I was raised from birth until 6 years old in a violence ridden part of the Caribbean. I was surrounded by death already at a young age, I can recall my first witness of a shooting when I was 3 1/2 years old. I did not have a stable living situation either, so my family was always going from house to house but we primarily stayed in these type of areas. I moved to USA, specifically MA, to start 2nd grade. I like to think I'm a healthy person but I have lost the ability to have connections with people, I can trust someone, I can care for someone but I'm always mentally prepared for them to become violent and play out these vicious situations in my mind repeatedly. it's reached the point where I now become worried about the integrity of people in my friend's/partners own lives. I just always feel trigger happy, this is doing a damper on my mind and heart. My mom told me today I need to not be so cold and I came here to ask about it. I might just go to therapy, even though ik therapy will just purge me and make things worse before it get's better, which frightens me but it seems like the only outlet. I don't even know if I'm asking for advice right now haha I guess I wanted to vent but also see if anyone can understand where I come from. Or atleast try to. But thank you for reading this if you did!