I obsess over any humiliation I have faced in my life. It has severely effected my self-esteem and sometimes makes me feel suicidal. Today at work, I had a particularly humiliating experience (thankfully it was at the very end of my shift) and afterwards I couldn't cope, I broke down mentally and couldn't stop yelling "Please fucking kill me!" Right in front of the store managers and at the cash registers where I saw customers and other employees looking at me concerned and confused.

Every single day, since I've had a bad humiliating experience back in 5th grade, I haven't been the same person. I have such a fragile self image that I can go from being happy and carefree to feeling suicidal in an instant. I really want help. Every once in a while I'll have a nervous breakdown and SINCERELY ask my mother to help me help myself because I feel too embarrassed to admit I need help in real life. I don't know what to do with myself.