Hey,

I’ve been depressed for several years without ever feeling a thing, besides shame and a deep wish to kill myself. It kept getting worse until I was unable to get out of bed and had a strong urge to just end it. It was a very intense pressure lasting on me to just kill myself impulsively. I then made some changes a few weeks ago and put my mental health first. Now I’m still the same but sometimes I’m so happy to be alive. It won’t last longer than a few hours and I’m still not functioning very well. But I, at least for a few hours, am so grateful to be alive and am optimistic about the future for once. Am I recovering or am I going completely batshit now? I can’t tell really

Can’t wait to see my therapist again soon