Using a throwaway, because my SO knows my primary username.

I just got a new job, for which I get paid in 6 days... I already had a bank account balance of less than a dollar, and then an unauthorized charge on my debit card put me in the negative. I told my SO, and he's loaning me some money so I can get back above $0 and not get charged an overdraft fee. He also offered to help me get to and from work for a few days, because my car is past inspection/registration, AND the tank is on empty. He's very kind, and I appreciate him.

What he doesn't know is that I've been eating around 800 calories a day, for the past week, because we've been low on groceries and I can't afford to eat out like he does (and like I normally would). He also doesn't know that I haven't left our room since he left for work this morning, because I owe one of our roommates a single-digit amount of money. She's being cool about it, obviously, but I'm so embarrassed to even look at her.

I've struggled with anxiety and depression for years, so I know exactly what this is: a spiral. I'm going back and forth between being anxious about my financial situation (on top of everything else) and depressed about my inability to fix it on my own. I know that it's temporary, but I am completely dependent on other people for the next 5 days, and I hate it. I hate myself. I'm staying in bed.

Thanks for the space to rant. If this post is inappropriate in any way, feel free to remove it.