People say that someone who has had a hard life comes out stronger because of it. But I don't feel stronger, I feel broken. I have always been an awkward person. I have never made friends right off the bat with anyone. Every friend I have had needed time to warm up to me. And when you add that with the fact that I have a speech impediment, learning disabilities, and don't know how to stand up for myself I was relentlessly bullied all my life. And I'm not stronger because of that. What I am is neuroticlly insecure because of it. I have had very few friends in my life. And I didn't even meet most of them until I was 18+. And so at school I was bullied to the point of crying every single day. And after school I felt pure loneliness. But I am not stronger because of it. I live in constant fear of losing the friends I have because of it. I as abused and I am not stronger because of it. I have PTSD because of it. How is it that all of this has made me a stronger person when I don't even feel like I am a real person unless I am high?