Hello,

I'm looking for an answer to a problem that has troubled me most in my 20 years: my life. I don't know exactly what my problem is, but I know something is wrong. My entire life I have felt a combination of fear, extreme confusion and hyperactivity. I come from a very loving family. My parents are kind and support me unconditionally. I've never been abused. I've been to multiple professionals (psychologists, psychiatrists) who have been unable to diagnose anything or give me any insight into my problem. I have never experienced depression in my life (at the worst it's a kind of melancholy) which, according to the last psychologist I spoke to, is extremely unusual if a person has been anxious for such a length of time, he says almost always a severely anxious person become depressed. I did well enough in school, though I definitely believe I have some kind of minor cognitive problems relating to memory and processing information. (Thankfully) I've never self-harmed, or become addicted to substances. Up until my nineteenth birthday I was a very active person who socialised and as a kid was very physically active. But I know something is wrong. Despite my consistent socialising, I know the way I feel around people is not normal. I do not know if it would be sufficient to describe it as anxiety, there is definitely some aspects of anxiety, but I feel it is more like a sense of extreme discomfort and confusion that I am very good at masking. Despite my parents being very loving I feel awful around them and have done since I was a kid, even though I love them too. Sometimes when my parents enter a room I'll feel a jolt of discomfort. However this feeling is prevalent around all people I interact with, I'm only describing it with my parents because I think it is highly unusual.

I never gave any signs of a troubled person. I'm going for an MRI scan to see if I have any undetected brain damage (possibly from birth).

If anyone has any ideas, I would be happy to hear from you. Please, try not to throw any random, unhelpful diagnoses, only what you think may be relevant to my situation.

I wish you all a Happy New Year, and all the best for whatever struggles you may be going through.

Love,

H