tldr; I think I'm developing delusional parasitosis and I'm afraid to tell anyone. This is me working up to telling my therapist. Advice or shared stories are appreciated.

I remember occasionally being convinced as a kid that there were invisible bugs living on my skin. They went away for awhile, I'd say almost two decades actually, but last year they started coming back and earlier this month with a vengeance. Instead of on my skin, though, they are in my head. In my ears and my sinuses. Behind my eyes and at the back of my throat.

My finances are pretty limited. I can't just go have my head holes examined for critters. I KNOW they are not real, key symptoms are missing and I have a perfectly rational explanation to why the physical symptoms I am experiencing (it's a dry and windy winter, causing dry itchy skin) but I still experience long bouts of "They're living inside me" that freak me out. I'm getting panicky just writing about it.

I don't know why exactly I'm afraid to share this with my therapist or loved ones but I am. Hopefully sharing here will help. I thought about waiting it out which I believe I could do but something tells me I really ought to tell her. I hurt my throat trying to forcibly expel one like you would a frog in the throat. I almost did serious damage to myself in one bad episode a couple days ago thinking I could dig a bug out of ear canal with a screwdriver. I did not put it in my ear, just held onto it for a good long while talking myself down from doing it.

So thanks for reading.