I live in the US, for context. Also, watch out because this is LONG.

If you don't live here, a service animal is defined as one trained to do specific tasks in order to help their handler overcome a disability. And a disability in turn is described as a condition, mental, physical, or emotional, that significantly inhibits or otherwise prevents you from leading a normal and productive life. So, a service animal can range from a seeing-eye dog to one trained to detect and act on flashbacks, to one trained to remind a depressed person to take medication.

So here's the thing: I have depression and anxiety, and I've had them for more than 15 years. I was hospitalized about 2 years ago for attempted suicide while I was at my job, and I haven't had a job since. My SO works from home because they're worried I might go back to self-harm. I'm on two different treatment tracks, in both group and individual therapy, have committed to a personal trainer to keep my health in line, and have a life coach who helps me get out of the house while feeling safe and encouraged.

All this, and I still rarely leave my own home. I'm still anxious, although the depression is doing better between the meds and the new treatment (which is stupid expensive). I can get overwhelmed at places like the grocery store or the mall, OR I can be totally fine missing an entire flight at the airport. I have a licence but I never drive, and I'm in an area where public transportation basically isn't an option. I set alarms to remind myself to eat, but I think I'm fat so if no one is around, I rarely actually get food until I'm starving or headachy. I suspect I'm developing an eating disorder. I depend on my SO or friends to remind me to take medications even though I have an alarm for that too. I have irregular sleep patterns and wake-up times, and I have a terrible track record of forming habits. I'm also really nearsighted and my hearing is inexplicably worsening, so I miss people calling me or things behind me if I'm not already looking or if they fall in the register that I can't hear in.

BUT. I don't know how much of this is laziness or co-dependence. If I had a service animal, I'd mostly want it trained to provide pressure therapy (for my anxiety), help me by bringing me or reminding me of meds (including emergency ones), and look out/intervene with self-harm or suicidal actions. The last two are really much better now, but I'm sliding into thinking about it more. I'm also considering going back to school, and they can be trained to help you get out of anxiety-provoking social situations by pretending they need to go out or something.

Again, these are all things that I feel I should be able to do for myself, and I do want to be more independent of my SO. It's not fair to either of us that we can't or don't live our own lives just because I'm ill. Or lazy. I can't tell anymore, and my current therapist seems to think I'm not trying hard enough (that is my supposition). I've expressed this idea to her recently, but she hasn't weighed in, oddly enough. I also already have 2 dogs we've rescued, who I love very much but definitely don't have the temperament to be trained into service or even as emotional support animals.

I guess I just want to ask people if they think I might benefit significantly from a service animal. Or if I just sound like I need to put in more effort, or wean myself off of other people. I've tried everything to form positive habits, but I'm honestly terrible at it, and I'm horrendously absent-minded (which I like to blame on artistic temperament, but maybe I'm just lazy, or all the meds have friend my brain?).

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. Any insight, personal anecdotes, opinions, are all helpful and welcome. Thanks!