I was professionally diagnosed with clinical depression and GAD as a preteen and have had a long history of psychiatric help. With the help of therapy twice a week, I saw a large change in who I was and who I became. But then I started bringing my family into sessions in which they'd bring up events that.. I can't remember for the fucking life of me.. They would tell of times where I had imaginary friends (more then not, a small blue cat) that in my mind was very real. They noted that I would distance myself from my brothers so I could play with my imaginary friends. Moreover, they talked about my sleeping patterns as a child and how I'd wake up countless times in the night crying, saying there are people in my room or right outside of my window. But as I said, I cannot remember any of this what so ever. I remember having a great childhood for what little we had and I remember having bountiful friends in and outside of school. Yeah, I slept horribly, but we lived next to an airport, what's to expect? Sure, my home life was stressful because I could never live up to my step-dads expectations and he'd always let that be known; effectively murdering my self-esteem and any ego I may have ever built up for myself, but I've come to terms with that and have been working to better myself in ways I see redeemable. Regardless of the cons, I felt more normal then than I ever have, even now. But this little "revelation" spurred my long-time therapist to reffer me to another treatment center for "further diagnosis". I just thought everyone was fucking dumb and chalked everything up to a childs imagination and they where taking things to the absolute extreme. So because of this, I haven't contacted any mental-health clinic since then, I refused to answer the new treatment centers calls or emails until they stopped coming, and I have virtually no interaction with my physician what so ever despite many letters in the mail.. this was three years ago. Now, I'm almost 21 and feel as if I've got a firm graps on normality. But I'm more depressed and stressed out then I can ever recall being before despite my strive for personal acceptance. But for the past three months, I've been seeing flashes of light from behind my fence (which i can see over while on the top step of deck) whenver I leave the house almost as if someone is taking pictures of me. I've talked to my neighbor's if they installed some sort of cameras or lights and obviously they told me "no"; but not believing them and being the detremined son of a bitch I am, I did myself some snooping around the outside of their house and came up with absolutely nothing. I haven't thought about what my parents said durring my last therapy session at all until yesterday evening... but it really got me pondering the situations. My close friends and family have urged me to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital this past week but I don't see myself as any worse then I was last week or the week before. If thing do persist though I'm going to seek a professional diagnosis. Is it a possiblity that my depression and GAD are just symptoms of something else? What do I do if I don't want to seek professional help after a diagnosis??