About 3 years ago after a cancer scare in my family I fell into a situation where I was unable to attend school or even leave home for the thought I may bump into someone from there and be questioned. This cost me all of my friends that I thought I knew. Out of the abyss I found a girl who talked to me through the day and spent all of her time just keeping my mind ticking over. She was and remains my rock. After 6 months of this issue my time at school was over and things seemed to return to normal. I seemed to get over what had been holding me back. I had always questioned myself as if I'd made all of it up and I felt a mockery for ever thinking I had a mental health problem. As I write this that same niggling doubt is telling me I'm wasting everyone's time and I'm lying to you all. Since then I have seen a distinct decline in my abilities to perform tasks at college. More recently I had been verbally harassed on more than one occasion at my sixth form college. I finally thought enough was enough and stopped going to these lessons. When questioned why I tried to avoid anything saying it was angst. Finally I was pressured into my real reasoning of being bullied by the teacher of these classes. This has lead to my removal from college I am now the failure I always thought I'd end up. The girl who became my rock is someone who I love and admire however, she's found new friends that more closely align with her than I. I've found myself at 19 with almost no qualifications hopeless and terrified. I'm trying to keep moving but everyday I feel like giving up. I need something or someone to just show me how I can keep moving when it feels like all is lost. I still feel like I've wasted your time. I'm sorry all.