Hi friends,

I hope this kind of post is allowed - I think it is within the rules but I am relatively new to this sub.

More so lately I have had abusive and cruel thoughts, and fantasies. I would never want someone mistreated at all in reality, but I have imagined some upsetting things. I realize we are all human and have animistic urges, but I feel disappointed and saddened by my own daydreams. It has honestly left me feeling like slightly worse of a person. It's all fiction but in a way I feel like I have let down not only myself but people whom I love and admire. It is definitely a low point in my life so far.

Anyway, I'm not sure what I am looking for exactly. Any suggestions or comments you have would be welcomed. I have been dragging my feet in considering different options for professional help, but it feels like I should get serious about that. I think I am not taking care of myself as well as I should.

Thank you for listening.