Why? I struggled though high school, but after getting to college I started figuring out my mental illness and was working on being better. After 3.5 years I joined a business fraternity that has very high expectations. I don’t know what happened but it was around that point that I stopped being me. Whether it has to do with my meds, my health, my blah blah blah, I dunno, but I haven’t been me since. I have adhd, anxiety and occasional depression related to these 2. I just sort of feel like I’ve lost control.

I used to be proud of some things about myself like how if I needed to I would take the lead, but now I just sort of cower. I used to be quiet, but when I would speak it meant something, but now I won’t stop and don’t know why I say what I’m saying.

I thought graduating would help, but it seems to be getting somewhat worse. I don’t know if it’s as extreme as it is because of the gloomy weather, and the fact that I live far away from people I feel comfortable around, or if I’m losing my sanity.

I’m usually pretty logical about my anxiety, and remind myself that the little things don’t matter even when they feel like the only thing that could ever matter. But today was different. I couldn’t quite place where this sense of severe unhappiness and anxiety was coming from. It was like my logic was being silenced by the part of me that just wants to yell at myself for being so stupid.

I’ve started eating better for my anxiety and brain function, taking vitamins, exercising and drinking more water. I feel great sometimes, but I snap into darkness a lot more now.

Am I having a mental break? What can I do?