I have recently started therapy for a variety of reasons, mostly based on what I am now realizing is a deeply ingrained procrastination and a desire to find a way to "cheat the system" when it comes to getting stuff done, often finding the easiest way, rather than the best. Mostly this is work related and production related, but this same attitude is pervasive throughout my life decisions.I also struggle with use of pot in a non-healthy way, using in situations that most in-control people would rightfully not get high for.

Anyway, that is just background as to why I am seeing a therapist, and as you can see, none of it is related to my relationship with my Wife. We have our fair share of issues, but none that are deeply troubling and none that I feel threaten our relationship. I feel we just have the normal, living with and connected to a separate human being, type of problems.

Anyway, her first reaction to me starting to see a therapist was that she was worried she had done something, and she was worried that I was going to a therapist to talk about her. Recently, she and I got in a mini-argument because she has this resentment toward video games, and my buddy just got a game and wanted to play online with me, so I did. She got upset because she was only going to be up for another hour and wanted to hang out with me. She than said something along the lines with "its fine you can play with your friends, i dont want to give you more ammo for your therapist."

There is clearly some anxiety about me seeing a therapist, but this comment really hurt, and I didnt expect it. Not sure if she fully understands how much it hurt, or how much its still sticking with me. In most situations, she has been completely on board and positive about my therapy, but I can tell she is concerned that I will figure out that I hate her or something.

I just wish she would understand that I am trying to better myself, and I am not going there to have a person who is "on my side" of arguments with her. It almost feels like she knows she has to be positive about it, but deep down she is very concerned that I will discover I dislike her or something. I just want to make her understand where I am at, but even when I say these things explicitly, I feel like she thinks I am just saying it because I have to. How do I possibly assure her that she isn't my problem, that my problem is all myself, and that I am only going there to work on myself?

TLDR: Wife seems to resent me going to therapy, possibly in fear that she is the problem. Cant find way to reassure her that she has nothing to worry about and that I am going to better myself and fix some deeply ingrained behaviors that need to be changed.