At this moment of my life, I have everything, a beautiful girlfriend, the best family a man could ask for, amazing social life, healthy lifestyle and education. However, there is something inside me that bothers me, I can't classify it specifically, whether it is something spiritual or mental. An inner restlessness that bothers and distracts my utopian life. It's all inside my head, these thoughts. The thoughts are tormenting me, it's not voices, nor do I see things or percept in different ways. It's basically peaceful thoughts that any humanbeing could have, although for me they seem disturbing and depressing.

First thought is: We live in a stimulation, pretty harmless thought, however, thinking that seeing computer games nowadays evolve this quickly, especially the interactions and graphics, that make it look so real. Imagine how computer games would look like in 200-300 years? Would we be able to create humanbeings in games, that could possibly have counsiousness? What if we're orginated from a stimulation, where the original makers are way ahead in time, and are capeable of making something like us? Worst part is, I sometimes get this feeling as if this whole stimulation is about me and only me, and before I was born nothing was ever made, it was all created for me. I feel as if I'm being spectated in my progress of how long I've come with 'cracking the code' that this entire thing is a stimulation, it sounds crazy and I sometimes laugh of it myself, but those are my thoughts sometimes.

Second thought is: I feel out of my body, as if I get this sensation of seeing my body from another perspective. This feeling makes me question everything wrong with my brain, everything feels so unreal and foggy. Sometimes I really feel as if I am in a game or dreamlike state, where everything is actually not there and just signals interpreted by my brain, as if all the senses that I have in my body are just illusions. This sensation is also symptoms of what is now called: Depersonization and derealization.

Third thought is: I have a hard time to comprehend time. What is time? I can't simply understand that there has been a past and there is a future. Although this seems way too complicated to write about.

I've spoken with my doctor about it and they said, it's just an existential crisis and anxiety and you'll get over it. Anxiety I can live with that, I have it and it bothers me, but I can still do great things, however I am afraid of developing schizophrenia or psychosis with these thoughts I have? PS: From Sweden, 24 years old, study medicine