Throwaway account for obv reasons

I’m 15, suffer from body dysmorphia and it’s been eating me up from the inside for months. I can’t stand the way I look. I don’t own any full body mirrors because 75% of the time i look in them all I see is the fat girl. I used to weigh around 125 and i’ve dropped to 119 lbs, i’m 5’2 and no matter how much i weigh i just look chubby and unattractive. I dont want to sound narcissistic but i cant stop thinking about my body, wherever i go i can feel people judging me and i just feel like shit.

I went through a phase where i dieted extremely and i really don’t want to do it again, i know my parents worry about me a lot and i hate seeing them get upset because i can’t see myself the way other people do. I hate my hips and my thighs and my knees and everything and i just wish i could look like my friends, they all have bodies like models, and then there’s me.

Sometimes i look in the mirror and think i don’t look that bad. But you can bet soon enough i’ll be wanting to die again because my thighs touch or because my hips are too wide or because i’m so short. I’ve been encouraged to talk about my feelings with other people and compliment myself, talking to people i trust helps i guess but i can’t bring myself to find anything nice about my body. I fake being confident so people might like me but i’m too insecure and constantly feel disgusted.

It feels pretty pathetic to come on reddit and ask for advice tbh because i don’t have anyone around me who relates to my situation. I just want help on how i can have a better self image. I do some exercise every day, i’ve been doing it for maybe like a month. I do things i enjoy and wear clothes i like. I actually have a lot of friends, and they really do make life happier. I still cant bring myself to accept my body. I’m not overweight, i know i have a healthy bmi. I wear a uk size 6 (us size 4?) But i feel so out of proportion, so wide and ugly and the thought of it all makes me sick. All I want is to really love myself and feel comfortable and not hate it anymore.

Tl;dr: 15, hate my body, need advice for self-help and how i can start seeing myself differently