Hi. I don't know if this is the right place for this. God, looking these kinds of things up online results in things like life-threatening physical diseases. So I guessed it would be better to ask people online. I've done a lot of searching but I'm not sure what's wrong with me, or I just don't want to admit anything is. Most of this has been for maybe two weeks or longer.

-Most noticeable physical thing is a pins and needles sensation (though more like tingling, not painful) in my brain? right above my left ear. It happens sometimes when I'm nervous. Or when I'm not. Maybe when I am but can't tell.

-I'm irritable almost all the time in certain settings. I also can get really irritated by certain smells. I try not to be, but I end up focusing on the smell and just leaving or opening every single door on the floor because I can't stand it. I don't remember being like this until recently. I hate it and I hate getting agitated and getting others agitated but god, things agitate me.

-A couple times at school I've gotten moments where I'm down the entire time and can't focus. Like, we've just been doing something pretty interesting and I was distracted for a while but then bam, there's something that I wouldn't describe as a pit but is kind of like a pit weighing me down. Thinking is slow. All that. Never lasts longer than 40 minutes, normally when I leave the class it's all good. I can't say much about it, though. It's only happened on a few days.

-I know I would never kill myself. My thoughts about it are mostly academic. But the fact that I even think about it kind of makes me concerned. Normally I don't think about it until I remember that I think about it. Does that make any sense? Ex. just remembered that I think about it when I wrote this. You know, like "I would never do this because I do look forwards to the future because of this one thing next week, and I know issues I have now that I'm seeing as bigger than they are will pass but... hey, what would happen if?" I don't see it as a good thing. God no. I also get really stressed when my friends are stressed about it.

-Dreaming as always. I haven't stopped dreaming at night. I hear that happens to people.

-Big procrastination issues. I'm procrastinating right now. That's been basically all my life.

-Are my feelings even legitimate? Am I trying to convince myself that I feel like this for reasons that are ridiculous? This one is especially weird. Like I'm faking everything that I've written here. Doubts doubts doubts. Also a very prevalent one.

-There are some hobbies I stopped doing a while ago. Some have just faded away slowly and others were a sudden halt. Overall, I haven't had motivation. I want to write or draw and I end up just sitting there thinking "hey, I should do a thing, but I know I'm going to end up doing something else" so I don't do anything. Or I just try to savor the motivation to do something and try to think of something to do and then I'm not in the mood for things I wanted to do earlier. I have core interests that I maintain and hobbies I enjoy that are basically those interests or thinking about those interests instead of doing anything. Am I just being lazy? I could do any of my activities or hobbies right now, couldn't I? Again with the "faking". Are these all excuses? (Also I wouldn't want to bike or anything right now because again, procrastinating.)

-Generally being stressed and demotivated.

-Internet. Way too much. That's common, I know. It's not like these other things don't exist if you remove the internet, though. I'm avoiding other things by being here.

Nothing pivotal has happened recently, as a side note. No huge events or smaller ones. Maybe this has been building up for a while. A lot of people will post to see a therapist or professional. I don't know about being in a position to do that. I guess I wanted to get this out into words. Why would I go to a school psychologist if no sort of big event has happened, nothing is new? Maybe that's my excuse for being too nervous to go. How would I even start this as an actual conversation. It's like I'm ashamed. I wouldn't want to talk about these things to anyone close to me, except for maybe a few people.

tl;dr Nothing pivotal in my life recently. Been feeling odd for a while. Don't know how I worked up the... whatever to post this.